Crunching down my boredom this Valentine Week, I had a thought: I wondered who would benefit from making the most commercialized day of the year into a week. With that, I bring you another episode in my gripping rant...
Part 2 : The Mascot
Talk about sending the wrong signals. I haven't seen a mascot so inappropriate since I heard that the face of Indira Gandhi's party was going to be a Sardarji. Who chose this shockingly underclothed chubby baby boy going around shooting people with 'love-tipped' arrows, simultaneously encouraging public indecency, juvenile violence and pre-marital shenanigans?
Well, Cupid was initially called Eros by the ancient Greeks, who tried their best to give us some of the most morally questionable gods possible (but were still beaten by a few Indians), and who had to settle with having made only 2 contributions which still survive in today's modern society: their system of government and their extreme love with pre-pubescent boys. Cupid is the God of erotic love and desire and was born to Venus, the goddess of love, and Mars, the god of war. Needless to say, their marriage was rocky and ended in an ugly divorce, and it's safe to say Cupid had a very troubled childhood.
Talk about sending the wrong signals. I haven't seen a mascot so inappropriate since I heard that the face of Indira Gandhi's party was going to be a Sardarji. Who chose this shockingly underclothed chubby baby boy going around shooting people with 'love-tipped' arrows, simultaneously encouraging public indecency, juvenile violence and pre-marital shenanigans?
Well, Cupid was initially called Eros by the ancient Greeks, who tried their best to give us some of the most morally questionable gods possible (but were still beaten by a few Indians), and who had to settle with having made only 2 contributions which still survive in today's modern society: their system of government and their extreme love with pre-pubescent boys. Cupid is the God of erotic love and desire and was born to Venus, the goddess of love, and Mars, the god of war. Needless to say, their marriage was rocky and ended in an ugly divorce, and it's safe to say Cupid had a very troubled childhood.
Yet those are some awesome parents and his resume seems pretty strong. Or so you would think. I think there are too many things wrong with Cupid.
First of all, why doesn't he wear more clothes? Is he a pervert who satisfies himself while everyone around him is getting it on?
Secondly, how exactly does shooting a arrow make people desire each other? I know one way, Cupid's pushing Ecstasy. Making rabbits out of people. He probably has a good measure of roofies as well, just in case the Ex doesn't do the trick.
That begs the question, who decides who ends up with who? Do we get a wish? I would like Brooklyn Decker to fall madly in love with me please? Or does Cupid decide on his own, pairing up ugly people with uglier people because they deserve it, or pairing ugly people with hot people just to see if they would do it, or pairing hot people for his private entertainment?
For one brief unconvinced moment, let's assume Cupid means well. That still doesn't justify his means. He is a horrible role model. He is fat, too young to be thinking about sex, and really promoting violent subjugation of desirable partners. No wonder kids are shooting people in schools.
And finally, how is a Greco-Roman god involved with a 'Christian' tradition? The only common tradition that Romans and Christians have is that the ancient Romans nailed hundreds of Christian prophets to crosses every year. And while something of the sort probably did happen to some of the St. Valentines, this fat lewd baby has no place in this tragic tale. He dilutes the seriousness of the day and his cute face hides the great anguish that this day seeks to commemorate and hence must be banished from Valentine's day forever.
Down with Cupid!
First of all, why doesn't he wear more clothes? Is he a pervert who satisfies himself while everyone around him is getting it on?
Secondly, how exactly does shooting a arrow make people desire each other? I know one way, Cupid's pushing Ecstasy. Making rabbits out of people. He probably has a good measure of roofies as well, just in case the Ex doesn't do the trick.
That begs the question, who decides who ends up with who? Do we get a wish? I would like Brooklyn Decker to fall madly in love with me please? Or does Cupid decide on his own, pairing up ugly people with uglier people because they deserve it, or pairing ugly people with hot people just to see if they would do it, or pairing hot people for his private entertainment?
For one brief unconvinced moment, let's assume Cupid means well. That still doesn't justify his means. He is a horrible role model. He is fat, too young to be thinking about sex, and really promoting violent subjugation of desirable partners. No wonder kids are shooting people in schools.
And finally, how is a Greco-Roman god involved with a 'Christian' tradition? The only common tradition that Romans and Christians have is that the ancient Romans nailed hundreds of Christian prophets to crosses every year. And while something of the sort probably did happen to some of the St. Valentines, this fat lewd baby has no place in this tragic tale. He dilutes the seriousness of the day and his cute face hides the great anguish that this day seeks to commemorate and hence must be banished from Valentine's day forever.
Down with Cupid!



0 comments:
Post a Comment