Yesterday, the Egyptian Government blocked access to the Internet across Egypt. Because social networking, forum and email sites were effective platforms for the news of a country-wide protest against the Government to spread.
This got me thinking. What if the Indian Government was to do this? I know that they won't need to (no two Indians ever agree on the Internet), but still. The results might be interesting.
Offices would come to a standstill. This would cause the paradox of parents waving goodbye to their children as they left for school, and then spending the whole day doing nothing at home. Also, a lot of people who are addicted to the Blackberry would spend days suffering from withdrawal symptoms.
People would actually start watching cricket instead of following the score on cricinfo. Nowadays, a lot of people prefer to read ball-by-ball commentary on cricinfo instead of making the effort to switch on the TV, and get a lot of unwanted visuals. However, if the internet dies, they won't have an option. Star, Ten and Sony will start earning trillions instead of the measly billions they make today.
Hospitals would admit people for acute lack of youtube. There are thousands of people in India who live on youtube, who watch hundreds of videos every day about cute dancing dogs, hot singing girls and movie trailers. Can these people survive an internet ban? Nobody knows. It will be the age of the YICU: Youtube Intensive Care Unit.
Adult sites will see at least a 16% dip in revenue. About 16% of the world's population is Indian. Thus, 16%. The 'at least' is also easily explained. Since India has more engineering colleges than the rest of the world, the per capita consumption of porn is likely to be higher. There are going to be a lot of poor, scantily clad models in the US.
Angry young men and women would have a field day. After years and years of having nothing significant to complain about (since the incident which led to the Pink Chaddi campaign), the disenchanted youth would finally be able to attack something tangible. There would be protests on every campus in the country, and this would be a great opportunity to get revenge on college professors and principals, as the nearest representatives of the oppressive establishment.
Newspapers would flog all possible puns on 1984 and Big Brother to death. Everyone would think they had discovered a cool unique new headline, and make the public at large wish that George Orwell had never been born.
Nope, I think blocking the Internet in India would not be worth the trouble of the breakdown of our society.
As always, I'm the Man and you have just been exposed to Wisdom.
This got me thinking. What if the Indian Government was to do this? I know that they won't need to (no two Indians ever agree on the Internet), but still. The results might be interesting.
Offices would come to a standstill. This would cause the paradox of parents waving goodbye to their children as they left for school, and then spending the whole day doing nothing at home. Also, a lot of people who are addicted to the Blackberry would spend days suffering from withdrawal symptoms.
People would actually start watching cricket instead of following the score on cricinfo. Nowadays, a lot of people prefer to read ball-by-ball commentary on cricinfo instead of making the effort to switch on the TV, and get a lot of unwanted visuals. However, if the internet dies, they won't have an option. Star, Ten and Sony will start earning trillions instead of the measly billions they make today.
Hospitals would admit people for acute lack of youtube. There are thousands of people in India who live on youtube, who watch hundreds of videos every day about cute dancing dogs, hot singing girls and movie trailers. Can these people survive an internet ban? Nobody knows. It will be the age of the YICU: Youtube Intensive Care Unit.
Adult sites will see at least a 16% dip in revenue. About 16% of the world's population is Indian. Thus, 16%. The 'at least' is also easily explained. Since India has more engineering colleges than the rest of the world, the per capita consumption of porn is likely to be higher. There are going to be a lot of poor, scantily clad models in the US.
Angry young men and women would have a field day. After years and years of having nothing significant to complain about (since the incident which led to the Pink Chaddi campaign), the disenchanted youth would finally be able to attack something tangible. There would be protests on every campus in the country, and this would be a great opportunity to get revenge on college professors and principals, as the nearest representatives of the oppressive establishment.
Newspapers would flog all possible puns on 1984 and Big Brother to death. Everyone would think they had discovered a cool unique new headline, and make the public at large wish that George Orwell had never been born.
Nope, I think blocking the Internet in India would not be worth the trouble of the breakdown of our society.
As always, I'm the Man and you have just been exposed to Wisdom.
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