How to develop India

Five year plans. Economists. Boring discussions on TV. Chapters in textbooks. Degrees in development studies.
These are some of the ideas people are using today to develop India.
Since I’m the Man, I know a better one. One that will actually work.

Background
Barack Obama is coming to Mumbai this week. In preparation for his visit, 30 km of roads are being repaired and made potholeless. The areas he’s expected to visit are being made reasonably beggar-free.

How this can be used
Convince Barack to visit every city, town and village in India. The Indian Government, given its reverence for all things foreign, will somehow find the money to revamp all these places, and lay roads everywhere at the very minimum.
Just think about it. Barack Obama is being criticized for not bringing about the change he had promised. There are whispers that he might not win the Nobel Prize this year. But if he does this, everything will change. People will remember him as the guy who made a Third World country a First World country in half a year, and the Nobel Peace Prize will be given to him for the next 50 years. Hell, they’ll probably give him the Economics Nobel as well. And maybe Physics.
Americans will surely disown him and probably try to exile him for uplifting any brown people. Where else can he run but to the country he helped make the new global superpower, India. Then perhaps we can make him our first ever non-senile president and take him on a Bharat Darshan and become the greatest civilization in the universe.
And I wouldn’t say no to a Nobel or two myself. After all, I suggested it.